im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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