I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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