Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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