my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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