It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
