belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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