4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
