do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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