I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
