I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
God, you're like boner-b-gone
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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