Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
