I wish I could punch you in the face.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You pole danced in your parka.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
