what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
