lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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