We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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