I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
