I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
