My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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