yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
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She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
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Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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