I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
