just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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