apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
