first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
