I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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