Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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