WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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