Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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