just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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