She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
