hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
