I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
