I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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