they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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