I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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