i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
this is an emotional support booty call
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
