I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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