covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
