i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I supernannyed him into submission
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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