He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
