Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I can feel your judgement through the phone
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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