You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
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Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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