While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
