I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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