sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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