I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize