i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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