I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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