Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
True strength comes from lack of pants
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
