I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
