just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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