I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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