He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
