I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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