I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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