Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
