I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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