The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
